Hello, dear friends,

Sometimes, it can feel like life happens to us. So many enormous and influential parts of the culture and time we live in aren’t under our control.

This can feel true when illness strikes, too. Where did this disease come from? Why do I have it? What caused it? Will it go away? What happens next?

Illness can make it feel like the story of our life is completely out of our hands.

Dr. Annie Brewster sees this a bit differently. She wrote The Healing Power of Storytelling with health journalist Rachel Zimmerman, sharing her perspective both as a physician and as a patient who has multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune disorder that affects the central nervous system.

As a doctor, she saw how patients’ emotions and identity were brushed aside in the healthcare system. She saw how connecting with patients was difficult to do because of the pace of appointments and the administrative electronic health record demands.

Dr. Brewster grew increasingly frustrated: “The system isn’t set up for listening to the stories of patients’ lives.”

When she became a patient herself, ignoring the personal story of illness became impossible.

She writes in The Healing Power of Storytelling:

“The idea that we are ultimately ‘in charge of’ our personal stories is, for me, the key to health. My acceptance of my own illness hinged on the realization that I could decide how to shape my story going forward. I couldn’t make MS go away or even determine how it might progress, but my attitude would always be mine and only mine. I could feel defeated, sorry for myself, broken, and flawed, or I could accept myself as is and integrate MS into my life.”

I’ve heard this same revelation when I’ve interviewed people about their chronic illness, whether it was Lyme disease or bipolar disorder or something else. Accepting their illness was a necessary first step.

We are storytelling all the time

It may seem odd to think about “telling your story,” especially if you don’t have any desire or intention to broadcast it publicly.

But we are telling the story of our life to ourselves all the time.

We narrate our own days inside our minds, whether we notice it or not.

We are crafting reasons for what happens, celebrating or blaming our actions (or others’) and, in the process, also shaping the life that we are living.

By writing down (or speaking aloud) the story of your illness, it becomes a more deliberate and conscious act.

What actually is the story you are telling yourself?

How do we tell our story?

Dr. Brewster emphasizes that there is no one-size-fits-all template to how a story is told. Each person finds their own way. In the book, she offers a blueprint, which can be used as a starting point. She recommends:

• Don’t think about the potential audience or final outcome, which can be distracting. Focus on telling your story. You can edit later. You can decide after it’s done who gets to read or hear it. (And there is no final “done” — your story will keep evolving throughout your life.)

• Set aside time to write in a dedicated space.

• Give yourself permission to write honestly.

The Health Story Collaborative, founded by Dr. Brewster, offers a list of prompts on their website “to inspire and guide your story.” It leads you through various points, starting with life before your diagnosis and through the transitions, the most difficult parts, and positive developments.

Your story can be told in so many ways.

Dr. Brewster recommends looking for coherence, agency, communion and redemption.

When did you make important choices? What have you done to support your health? Who has provided support along the way? What unexpected good has emerged?

This is not about making up anything but about seeing what is already there and drawing it out in your story.

Dr. Brewster writes in The Healing Power of Storytelling:

“Deciding to tell your story — where you simply write it down on paper and keep it private or share it with a larger audience — is a brave act and, we believe, ultimately a healing endeavor. Committing to this process takes time and energy, but the rewards are great. Healing occurs when we take ownership of our stories. This means integrating and accepting all of ourselves and considering how the challenges we have faced, though uninvited, have made us stronger. Sharing our stories, exposing our vulnerabilities, ultimately promotes self-acceptance and dissipates shame. And welcoming others into this process encourages intimacy by making it okay for all of us to be less than perfect.”

“In medicine, we think about ‘fixing’ and ‘curing’ — but the definition of healing, I’ve found, is far broader. Even when what ails us cannot be ‘cured,’ storytelling can help us heal by encouraging a sense of agency, self-acceptance, connection with others, perspective, and empathy. These are our stories to tell. We are in charge of this process.”

Have you written down your story? Have you shared it with someone else?

How does the idea of telling your story feel?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

To our journeys,
Brianne

p.s. My dear friend Jen and I both love poetry, so for National Poetry Month — April! Next month! — we are putting together a list of 31 of our favorite poets. If you are poetry-curious, or adore poetry already, you can subscribe to our endeavor for a daily April treat. We’ll dial back to weekly (or so) after April. Sign up to join Poetry Buds.